"depressing infertility blogs."

A fellow blogger asked me one day last week, "Why do you read our depressing Infertility blogs?" So i wanted to take a minute to try to answer that.

Sorry if this is all over the place- I am WAY A.D.D. so I tend to jump around a lot:)

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A few years ago, I began following one of my YoungLife leaders' blog because she had moved away and I missed hearing about how she was doing. One day she linked to someone else's blog so I clicked over to check it out. Then, I got hooked on that one too, and then it happened again... and again... and again.... and well you get the picture.

One blog led to another and WA LA!- Now I follow like a million (the majority of which I do not know in person). Due to the fact that I have always hung out with people older than myself, I found myself getting linked to women who were getting married and having babies or not having babies due to infertility.

Once you begin following someones story, no matter what it is, your heart goes out to them and you spend time praying for them (and their struggles) daily. I get so emotionally involved that I cant imagine just walking away from certain blogs.

As many of you know, us bloggers always link to other blogs to spread the prayers and their stories and that's what happened. I somehow stumbled across ONE infertility blog and over time, became invested in many many others.

Infertility is an awful thing. I hate it and I get angry and upset and just plain confused as I follow these struggles- BUT then, sometimes, I get to celebrate with some when they finally have a baby in their belly or in their arms and that's so so worth it. I also get to be an encouraging word when I get the chance. I am able to pray over each one of you and ask God to give you the desires of your heart in HIS time. It stinks to have to wait until He decides that but in my heart, I do believe that one day, each of you WILL be a mother and I cant wait :).

Now, I know that my comments may not mean as much to you guys as, say, a comment from someone else battling infertility, but I will continue to comment because that is what I want to do and I know that if the roles were switched, I would appreciate yours.

It may seem weird to you guys that I follow so many infertility blogs but I never entered the blog world thinking, "hey, I'm gonna find some infertility blogs and read a million of them." but that's the way it happened.
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I have ALWAYS loved children my whole life and I have always wanted them to be a part of who I am and what I do on a daily basis (hence, why I have decided to go the Sonography route and want to be a mom so bad). I have always had a feeling, deep in my heart, that I would have a hard time having children. I don't know whether it is my extreme lack of faith in my luck (or in my body for that matter) or what... but its been there for years now.

Eventually I talked to my mom about it and I found out that it took my parents 5 years to get pregnant with my little sister (used clomid pills). Obviously that does not mean that I WILL have fertility issues but it just made me realize that it is a possibility... so when I stumbled across these blogs, I felt like I was supposed to read them.

I understand completely that I am not an infertile and that I cannot even begin to imagine how you feel or how hard this is for each of you. I will not try to pretend that I understand because I dont. I have never been there and may never be there. The only thing I know is that God put me in this blog community for a reason and I dont care what it is. You guys are my friends now and it makes no difference to me how that happened.

I hope that this answer doesn't upset anyone or rub anyone the wrong way. I want to be honest and that's it... and just to clarify... :) .... Your blogs are not depressing! Yes, there are times when your posts make my heart ache because of where you are and how you are feeling but there are also times when I find myself laughing out loud or grinning from ear to ear as I read about your triumphs over infertility and your almost aways positive outlook on life. I follow you guys because you are an inspiration to me in a time when I need all the inspiration I can find. You ladies are so strong and it makes me want to be strong too as I go through my own struggles. If you guys can do it, so can I, regardless of what we are battling.

All I can say is that you ladies are great. I could never have imagined the support system that is forming through our blog connections... and like I have said before, sometimes your comments are the only thing that get me through some days.


As far as I know, not one single person who knows me IRL knows about this blog and I would like to keep it that way (well unless I get the opportunity to meet you guys IRL- :) haha). I have a hard time opening up to a lot of real life friends about all this and this is a great alternative for that fear. This is my safe haven- A place where I can go and spill my guts about anything and everything I want and that's the way it will stay.

So I hope that this helps you understand why some random 22 year old college student follows your "depressing infertility blogs." :)