Friday, January 27, 2012

my life is made up of bullets


well at least to you guys anyways :)


  • Im brainstorming yet again names for my nanny agency.  Everytime I pick one, I find one in town (or close to town) that is just too similar to move forward.  I think I am going to choose a few Im okay with and then ask you guys for your advice.  That is, if anyone still reads this thing and comments. HA!
  • I finally got my Francesca's dress! LOVE IT!! Im ready for warm so I can rock it!!
  • Today has been one of the hardest days with the kids thus far this year (haha 27 days in...).  I seriuosly almost cried. and I dont cry easily.
  • I am co-leading my small group now which has been awesome and awful and so fulfilling and so dramatic all at the same time.  Do you realize how many girls in the same small group are linked to one stupid scumbag who breaks hearts? Yeah, you'd never believe it if I told you.
  • N's birthday is coming up.  If you dont recall, our last big fall out was last year on his birthday.  I dont even wanna know what craziness he'll apply to me this year even though I wont be attending.
  • I dont know if it is because its winter or what but I feel disgusting in terms of how I look.  I know Im training hard core for this marathon but Im really not doing anything for my abs and rest of my body other than Insanity 1-2x a week.  To all my friends/family/bosses Im sure I look the same but it's hard to know how you CAN look and then look in the mirror and see what you ACTUALLY look like.  Does anyone else ever feel like you dont look as good in the Winter?
  • One of my nanny kids broke her foot Saturday (Not under my watch) so it will be very interesting navigating the next 6-12 weeks with a 5 year old in a cast.  Poor baby :(
  • Tomorrow's Marathon training calls for 14 miles- OVER HALF WAY THERE! Wahoo!  I am stoked to feel like I can actually achieve this!
  • I've come in contact with a lot of young married moms lately and it really stinks!  I wanted to be that 24 year old wife with a little one on my hip and a baby in my belly! I know my God has wonderful plans for me but man, I wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes.
  • I am obsessed with Pinterest. It's official!
  • I have been working like a mad woman the past week and it doesnt look like its gonna let up.  Now that Ive had a taste of down time- I dont think this whole working my life away thing is gonna fly with me anymore.
I promise Im still reading even if Im not commenting! 

Friday, January 20, 2012


Just booked a flight to Kansas City to see my nanny family!


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

All I can give you is bullets

  • Still havent heard from "friend." I am good with it.  I made the right decision for sure. Moving on.
  • N showed up at church on Sunday. WHAT?! Yes, after 10 years of me asking him he showed up without being asked and gave me a freaking panic attack bc he was there alone and asked to sit beside me (this is following an immature new years eve where he hung out romantically with some random girl from his work and then made sure that I saw the pictures so I would get jealous.... yea...)
  • All my littles are sick and its making it difficult to make money.  I cant expose one child to another sick child in another family so I am doing a lot of single family sitting which isnt good for the wallet.... especially after Christmas.
  • I feel oddly out of place at work (Sports Store).  I feel old and out of touch with what all the younger staff talks about.  I feel replaced by the new people when it comes to friendships with the original crew. Sigh.  It just is hard to remind myself that this is a job and not a place to feel accepted.  Still sucks.
  • My BIL is pissing me off big time.  He PMSes worse than any woman I have ever come in contact with. I dont understand why my independent, stand on her own two feet, genius sister would have married and jerk like him.  He is borderline verbally abusive towards my sister with the way he talks to her and what he says.  He  bites her head off over the littlest thing and called her a b**** under his breath when she pisses him off (always loud enough for her to hear...) UGH It is insane that he acts like this because he is living in my parents house for FREE while their house is being built and he cant even have the decency to respect their daughter in the meantime? I want to knock him out sometimes. And then knock my sister out for being such a idiot for putting up with it and exposing my niece to his crap. (He is a good dad. But that doesnt matter bc my niece is going to see these things as she grows up and then have an awful view of what a relationship should look like)
  • I got cute new boots in the mail today :)  Is it just me but do fake leather boots smell funny?! :)
  • I am STILL waiting on my cute dress from Francescas to come in the mail! When they say 5-10 days.... they actually mean 4390723974 days. Just saying.
  • I started IN.S.AN.ITY. (P90X on steroids) on Monday and am super excited to get my toned body back!  I hate know what I am capable of looking like and then not looking like that.  It's a myth that is you are training for a marathon that you will be ripped because seriously.... you gotta work for that.
  • My nanny family who moved recently to become missionaries in Kansas City, MI finally found a house yesterday! I cant wait for them to close on it and move in so I can book a flight and go visit! I miss my kids! I just hope the funds somehow pop up to make this trip possible!
The End.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

30 Things to Stop doing to Yourself

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
  1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
  2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
  3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
  5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
  6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
  7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
  8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
  9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
  10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
  11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
  12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
  13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
  14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
  15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
  16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
  17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
  18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
  19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
  20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
  21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
  22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
  23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
  24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
  25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
  26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
  27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
  28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
  29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
  30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing