Birthday: Part 3

I was
pleasantly surprised
excited
confused
and livid.
All at the same time.

I was so excited that he would do something like that.
something that he never did before
but knew I would love it.

I was so pissed, too.
How could he?!
He has a girlfriend
and Im pretty positive
he didnt tell her he
was sending his ex flowers
for her birthday.
Why would he do something
so awful and misleading to me?!

I, of course, called him and thanked him for the flowers. Told him it was really sweet and asked why he decided to do it considering that he has never done it before. His response?

"I've learned a lot in the past 5 months. I know that I didnt always treat you the way I should and Im sorry that I never did things like this for you when it really mattered. I just wanted you to see that Im learning. I wanted to do this for you"

Although I knew that the girlfriend thing was in the back of my mind, I didnt want to ruin the day so I kept my mouth shut. I thanked him again and got off the phone to get ready and head to dinner with my friends.

After dinner, I came back to my place to study for our NOT CANCELED quiz the next day and finally hit the hay at 1am but not before receiving yet ANOTHER call from N. He was about to go to bed and "wanted to make sure I had had a good birthday." Now, he had told me earlier (before dinner) that he would call me before he went to bed but when 10 and 11pm rolled around, I figured, people dont change so why would I think HE would today?- he probably forgot and went to sleep. He did not forget. While we were on the phone, he asked me what I would have done if he had driven to Greensboro to surprise me? I told him I would have been surprised but that I would have just invited him to come to dinner with everyone. He said he was thinking about doing that but was afraid I would send him away at the door.

As the conversation came to a close, I said bye and was about to hang up when he said,
"hey."
I didnt know what he was about to say so I braced myself...."Yeah?"
"I dont know. I just dont want to get off the phone with you..."
"Oh okay..."
"I just feel like when we get off the phone something is missing."
"Like what...?"
"I dont know, like we leave the conversation hanging every time..."

I knew at that moment that he was referring to the fact that we didnt say I love you anymore. My heart jumped up into my chest and I knew I would freaking die right there if he tried to say that after everything he has put me through.

So I replied, "Yeah, I know. Well hey, thanks for everything N, It really made my birthday a good one. I'll talk to you later, Sleep well."

and at that, the conversation ended.

Part 4, later. I dont even want to think about writing it right now. Oh, and PS, my biomechanics quiz was NOT given that Friday. He forgot the quizzes in his office... so basically I sat home on my birthday night studying for no reason. yea...