Seriously, when I found out that he won and wanted to just sit down and sob... All I could think about was how I needed to keep it together until I could get home and blog about how I was feeling... I need you guys- Im realizing that. This community we have is far more than just some people who comment on each others' ramblings. I depend on your input more that I ever thought I would. So I DO hope that I didnt lose any readers because of my honesty.
I have noticed that some of you have gone through similar situations before you got married and you have NO IDEA how much better it makes me feel to know that SOMEONE... ANYONE....! has survived crap like this and that it was hard for them too. Your comments and stories telling me about your experiences is like hope in the form of comments. Its a way for me to know that this WILL get better even though sometimes it feels like it wont. EVER.
So Im curious... Who theres? Whos out there listening to my ramblings... ???
I know I have 11 followers but Im pretty sure only 2 or 3 or them actually stuck around. ha!
PS. He did call Sunday. SHE ruined the premier night by trying to make it about her instead of letting it be about him. Surprise Surprise. I hate her and he is so stupid.
I can't write much cause of school and my finals...F**K ME is all I have to say about that!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know, I am a faithful reader and I will comment more later! I was in your shoes and my "N" meant the world to me until I met my husband. I had many nights like yours and I too thought my heart would burst from all the pain I was going through. I am so happy to have found G because he is the one for me...not saying that things can't work out with N but if they don't, there is a reason!
babyparamore.blogspot.com
Im here Im here!!!I check every night to see if you updated or not!!! I to have been in your shoes and if its meant to be N will get it together and realize what a mistake he made!! There is hope I married my N and we have 4 Great kids!! So hang in there especially if you still love this guy and if you think he is still worth hanging around for!!! Now Im not saying you should pine away or wait around 4ever!! Go out and Date once N hears your dating or your dating someone he may just wake up sooner rather than later!!!!
ReplyDeleteThats what worked for me as soon as I started dating my guy was like hold up.....
You know I'm here! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm here. Seriously, he has issues and you can't fix him. Take care of you.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. You can only worry about you. He will make whatever decisions he wants to make. Your self worth is not found in him. Don't let him consume your thoughts!!
ReplyDeleteHey Allison... I am still here. I barely have time to speed read through the posts but I do at least get that far :).
ReplyDeleteAs for what is going on with you and N. You have to be real to get into a place of letting it heal. I am just praying that you would find God in a whole new way. That you would experience him and LONG for HIM the way you long for the next encounter with N. I
I got saved when i was 24 and after I got saved I realized I was not living the way God intended. I was living with my then fiance. After I gave my life over to the Lord... I moved out b.c I knew that was the right thing to do. I felt convicted and knew that God intended these "relations" to be between man and wife. So I wanted to jump in and never look back.
It was hard saying good bye. We held onto a friendship for a long time. He came and picked me up, we would go have dinner, go to movies, parks... whatever... just hanging out. But my feelings were attachment. His were he didn't want to be alone and didn't know how. That was devastating to me and me alone! soon the time came that he got a new GF and I was on the back burner. It hurt BADLY... I had to give him up for good. I knew I was worth way more than that!
Finally I gave him up and we stopped hanging out/talking and I met my now husband J. After J proposed my "N" started coming back around telling me that J was not the one for me and that I should not marry him b.c he wanted me back.
It was too late. I knew that God had intended J for me.
I know God will bring your "J" around. You have to give HIM your all in order for HIM to fulfill your heart's desires. He will do it anyway BUT it is much more meaningful and joyful when you are walking hand in hand with GOD!
hope it helps some :)... love ya girl. "This too shall pass"!
I'm here too!!:) And you already know my story. Only time will tell if you and N are meant to be together or if it is time for you to move on and find someone else.
ReplyDeleteI read every day. Think about you a lot. I will email soon. Prayers for you!
ReplyDeleteYou have an award from me! Check out my blog!
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