Which is best?

I didn't stress as much about Olly when N and I were together.

I came home to O and N every weekend or every other weekend... but now I don't and I get worried. I trust N. He loves Olly but sometimes his "oh I'll do it tomorrow" is just too much for me to handle. Sometimes his selfishness is unbelievable. Sometimes his irresponsibility is laughable.

For example, you remember the gum incident.... ?? and how N didn't even bother giving him the $100 worth of precautionary meds I paid for (yeah I might have forgotten to tell you guys that one)?? OR remember when I told you that N sometimes waits until 1:30 in the afternoon to feed him because he "just" forgot.... or how he doesnt bring O for long walks everyday anymore because its too cold or he "doesn't have time"... or how he forgets to open the shades so O can look out the window while he is gone all day.... or how he sometimes forgets to fill up his waterbowl... or how he ignores O's whining when he has to go out because he's... sleeping....

I'm not trying to bash N... okay okay I probably gave a few too many examples... but we are just different people... While I am motherly and very aware of things that need to be done and WHEN they need to be done... he is not.

I know that O is low on food... and he cant eat just any food (he has allergies)... and N told me yesterday that he doesn't have enough cash to buy another bag. I offered to pay for it but he doesn't even have the cash to foot until Friday when I can pay him back. I even offered to call the vet and pay for the food over the phone so N could just go pick it up but he says he has enough to last until I can pick it up myself... I KNOW that N wants to provide for Olly but sometimes I just feel like he's not trying hard enough. He needs to get a job so that he wont have to worry about how hes going to pay for his dog's food...

I know that I would make whatever sacrifices I had to in order to make sure that Olly had what he needed and Id like to say that so would N... but he's been proving me wrong lately... Maybe I am just WAY too uptight (okay I know I am) but I also don't think that WAY LAID BACK (N) is the way to go either. I'm not always going to be right. I am not always going to deal with situations in the best way. I am not always going to say and do what I should... but neither is N.

So I guess it comes down to... which is best?

A mother who is probably too structured for anyone's good... but who loves you unconditionally and would do anything for you?

or

A father who is way too laid back and forgets things sometimes... but loves his son more than life itself.

Neither of us are perfect... we have our flaws... but both of us love O. So how do you choose?