I decided not to go to my classes today and drove home last night. I picked up Olly and had a very lengthy and HONEST conversation with N last night and today. We have both decided that neither of us desire to be a couple ever again at this point. He is not the same person and I am now seeing it more clearly. Or maybe I just didnt see it before bc I love him so much. Regardless, I need a clean break and that is not going to happen if we continue passing Olly off every few weeks. I told N I would like to know if he is truly planning to let me have Olly when I graduate. He said yes. I told him Id like to try to find a place in Greensboro that will let me have Olly there so I can take him in December/January instead. He said that was fine (with a very disappointed look in his eyes). I made him shake on it- not that that means anything.... but Im going to move forward with this full force trying to find a place to stay and a sub-leaser. Ive sent out a few emails and looked on Craigslist some.... If I get something solid, I will ask N one last time to make sure he isnt going to change his mind before signing anything... Now its time for lots of prayer.... lots and lots of it.
Won't you join me?
Im sending you LOTS and LOTS of prayers your way
ReplyDeleteI think you're turning a corner in your healing process. I love your new plan.
ReplyDeleteI'm always sending tons of prayers your way but I think you have come to a cross road and you finally got on the right path! I know your heart will heal and you will have Olly! I hope it works out sooner than later but either way, Olly will be yours!
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