Go Away Summer!

As a life-long beach local,
I am always counting down the days until summer
so I can go home and enjoy my favorite place on earth.
But.... this summer is different.

For the first time in my life...
I wish we could just skip summer this year.
Can't August be here already?
That way I will be busy with new classes and
coursework to stay on top of.
I wont have time to think of N
and what is missing from my life.

The summer...
It wont be the same.
The place that always felt right and comfortable
is now anxiety filled and foreign.
N is everywhere.

I want it back.

I took my 2nd to last exam today.
God only knows how I have managed to make it through.
I should be cramming for my physics exam on Wednesday.
but of course, my mind is elsewhere.

I hate that the one thing that I could always look forward to
is now a nightmare that is coming too quickly.

Im not ready.
When Im at school, that place seems far away
and I can forget everything for a moment.
but when I am in the midst of all those reminders
I feel like I cant breathe.

So...

Go Away Summer!