Already?!

Okay, so remember at the beginning of the Summer when I was wishing it away?! Well Summer vacation is gone.... and I have no clue where it went. Dont get me wrong- Im pretty sure going back to school will be helpful right now for moving forward but... that means I have to actually do schoolwork now. :( AHHH.

Now for a catch up- Bullet style!

• I had an amazing time in the Bahamas but am glad to be back with my family and sleeping in my own bed on my very own blow up mattress.
• I havent quite gotten myself back into the swing of things yet. I feel like Im just waiting for some deadline or certain date to come along but Im not sure what that is so it just leaves me feeling a little... i dont know.... disappointed. Wierd, I know.
• I start classes on Monday. My plan was to head back today but the rain that Hurricane Bill decided to send made me change my mind. Hopefully tomorrow is better. (Crazy story coming soon about today- Remind me if I forget!!)
• On the N front; some days are good, others...are not. I was dying to see O when I got back from my trip and when I asked N if I could swing by for a bit to see him, he asked if I would be willing to have lunch with him. I did, no biggie. Still wierd... to sit across the table from someone you love and try to talk about everything under the sun that doesnt pertain to the fact that the two of you arent together. Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever be able to have a conversation without having that brief moment where we just stare at each other out of pure disappointment that THIS is actually where we ended up.
• My friends suck. Nothing new there. I just never feel like they truly understand like N did. I still find myself wanting to call him instead of my girls because I know he really cares and will talk to me instead of always making everything about himself like girls tend to do.
• I need to get a job while Im in school this year. I dont want to have to get a REAL job yet-- Id like to just stick with babysitting but Ive only found sketchballs in Greensboro (NC) and dont feel very comfortable babysitting for them. I have a "tax paying" job in mind so Ill head in there tomorrow when I get into town and see if they are hiring but I really hate the idea of having something so concrete while my school schedule is still so demanding. If anyone knows anyone in the Greensboro,NC area- PLEASE LET ME KNOW!
• I kept O Tuesday night through Thursday afternoon. I know I say this every. single. time. but I love that dog more than anything. Im sitting here right now missing him and it makes my heart ache. Hes my little buddy and Its torture to know that while Im away at school, I cant just call N up and tell him Im gonna take O for a few days.
• I sure hope that being in a different town makes things easier on me. Some days I just feel so strong and together that Im certain that things can only get better and then other days I just feel this aching in my chest that makes me worry that this feeling will always keep coming back just to keep me from really reaching "better"

Sorry Ive been so absent lately! Ive been keeping up with everyones blogs as well as I can but I just feel like Im stuffing a whole bunch of stuff into a not so big time frame. Okay... okay... well maybe Im just in denial that this is really my life right now and Im trying to pretend its not by putting lots and lots of stuff off for later. Either way, Im glad to be back and Im ready to hear from everyone in blogland again! I've missed you guys!