Fact:

Life doesn't make sense.

Most of the time, I walk through life completely confused as to why things turn out the way they do. I am realizing more and more that a lot of bad things happen... even when people don't deserve it. Life isn't a guarantee and neither is happiness.

There is no "rock bottom"

You know that saying,

"Sooner or later, you'll hit rock bottom and then you'll have no where to go but up??"

It's not true. There is no rock bottom. It's just a bottomless pit. Things can ALWAYS get worse than they already are.

He is never coming back

He is engaged to be married to someone who is not me. The gut feeling that he would become my husband one day was obviously wrong. Even though I know and accept these things, it still hurts and it's still hard. Every day is a challenge. I can't help that he still has my heart. I cant help that I think about him every single day. I can't help that my heart breaks every time I remember that this is it, I've lost him.

"Seeming" isn't "being"

Just because I "seem" okay does not mean I am okay. Ive just found that it's easier to hide the pain than it is to try to explain things that others will never understand. Every day is a struggle and most of the time, I cry myself to sleep at night because I've worked so hard all day long to hide the fact that I am still hurting... and I just cant hold it in any longer.

I will be okay.

It doesn't feel like it right now but I have to believe that I'll get there eventually.

God is good.

I do not understand it now but I have to believe that God is good and that he is using my misery to make melodies.

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
- Psalm 147:3