another one.

I feel like the past year has been a lot of me realizing that most of my friends are not my friends at all.

I chose to walk away from my friendship with Kelly because I didnt feel valued at all. Our flawed friendship created scars I realized I could overcome... considering that she didnt see (or care to see) that she was creating them..  I had to make a hard decision to walk away from something that was breaking me.  I haven't heard from her in 4 months. It sucks knowing that me silently walking away has not affected her at all.

Whats worse?

I think it's happening again.... just with someone else.


A friend I have always considered one of my best....

Why I considered her that is beyond me when I reflect on the past 4 years.



Im sad and exhausted and hurt and confused.

I want to tell you the whole story but my heart just cant handle anymore today.

I find myself asking, "What is wrong with ME?".... that people don't want to treat me how I feel like a friend should treat me?


It's sad that I have only a couple of IRL friends I feel I can truly trust.  I actually trust some of my bloggy friends more than some of my real friends.  I dont reach out to them or talk to them about these thing individually because I dont want to be a creeper. (Yeah, theres honesty for you.)

Its sad hat I feel closer to people I dont talk to on a regluar basis or know in real life than I do to people that are supposed to be my real life friends.

Im stuck in a lose lose situation and its tearing me apart.