Blake just texted me... after 2 weeks of no communication whatsoever.
it said...
"Just wanted to say hey... im at work but just thought bout u lately n wanted to say hey"
My heart literally stopped when I realized it was from him.
but what does that even mean?
one.... he IS thinking about me. I was afraid he wasnt.
but two... "just thought about you lately?".... that makes it seem that he wasnt thinking about me before but that he is now... I know Im overanalyzing it and he's probably just saying, "Ive been thinking about you..." but I cant help but question everything.
.....
I havent responded.... I dont know what I'd even say if I did.
I know that if I do respond, it wont be until 10 or 11 tonight. I dont want it to seem like I am sitting by the phone waiting for him... which Im not. I just dont know what to say... I have so much I want to tell him but I know I cant... even now.
But... I dont want to NOT respond because then he may interpret that as I dont want to talk to him.
I didnt expect this.... and Im scared that I will find false hope in this and that it will make things even harder than they already are....
Oh Lord... help me.
UPDATE: (May 8, 1:30pm)
I sent a text back about 10:45pm last night just saying, "hey, its really good to hear from you" I didnt get a response which I expected considering that I waited 5 hours to respond and my reply really didn't warrant one. sigh. I dont know how this will affect me... but it hasn't changed the fact that I miss him.
so glad you have held it together this long. :).
ReplyDeleteFrom an outsider I think it just means that he has indeed been thinking of you. Lately, is just a way to make himself sound like he hasn't been "sitting by the phone" too. I think your memories are probably surfacing a lot more in his heart now that things may have slowed down a bit for him.
Just like you, I am sure he has gone places and done things that have reminded him of you MORE than before.
Try, try, try not to over-analyze it and just respond with a simple (haha... or not-so) "hey you, how are you doing? Think about you too (or often). Miss your face! Hope all is well." Change it up as it fits your style... you know, if you decide to text him back :). LOL that's a no-brainer :). You should. He does need to hear from you. He needs the friend you two started out being. I know that may be hard but just keep it simple.
I agree completely with Bri. He deserves to be treated well even if it's really hard. You're doing great(even if it doesn't feel like it).
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