N's bday.

Remember how I told you about how I was trying to maintain a better relationship with N?

Yeah. That is no more....

His bday cook out/ party was Saturday night and he had asked me a while back if Id come. I had to jump through hoops to make it happen but I did and I even made him his favorite pie as a birthday present. Everything went great in the beginning-- All our old friends were back together and I was enjoying meeting his new friends. He told me multiple times throughout the night how much everyone liked me and how much he appreciated the effort I was putting forth to get to know everyone instead of expecting him to occupy me all night (HA!- He doesnt know how independent I am now apparantly). Everything was going off without a hitch and I was having a really good time! At one point, they all decided they wanted to go to a little beach bar up the street so we jumped in the car and headed that way.

We danced.

We drank.

We laughed.

We remembered old times.

We saw some great friends.

And we celebrated N's first 25 yrs of life!

And then N decided to ask me to "be his girl" in the middle of the dance floor. I, of course, said no explaining that this was not the time or place for us to discuss this but that he knew how I felt about it and that we had too many issues that still needed to be resolved before that could even be considered.

He agreed that we could discuss it later and that he should just enjoy his bday with great friends!

(At one point during then night, one of our old friends, Brian, (who was incredibly wasted) decided it'd be funny to grab my boob as a joke (Insert gasp here bc yes, I was very surprised). I just shook it off because of the fact that they were drinking and he hadnt done it to be vulgar or mean... he just thought he was being funny.)

ANYWAYS....

Night went on- things were totally fine and everyone had a great time....

.......

Insert Downward spiral here.

Later in the night, as we were all getting back to N's and everyone had gone their separate ways (or passed out), N decided to lay in on me about how "slutty" I am and how I am "just like his Ex" and that I "ruined his birthday" just like she did.

He was mad because

1. I had danced with one of our friends, who is a guy, at some point in the night with a bunch of other friends in a group

2. because I "allowed" Brian to "FEEL ME UP"

Yes, you read that right. He is mad that I danced with our guy friend, who we've been friends with FOREVER in a HUGE GROUP OF OUR FRIENDS DANCING and because I ALLOWED a guy who has been our friend for ages to FEEL ME UP in a bar.

This was the first time in all our time together that I realized just how emotionally and verbally abusive N is. I cried my eyes our while he yelled at me about how awful of a person I am and how he never wants to see me again and how he wanted me to get out of his face and go "slut it up with all his friends." I tried to contribute this to his drunkeness thinking that he'd come to his senses in the morning and apologize....

Nope.

He just started right back up in the morning.

He refused to allow me to explain anything to him.

He refused to acknowledge that dancing is not having sex and that it is totally harmless-- especially in a group of friends.

He refused to acknowledge that I DID NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO FEEL ME UP nor did I even approve of Brians "accidental" boob grace.


I left after he told me to "get the F*** out of his house and never come back."



Im done girls (and guys).

I know I did nothing wrong.

I hung out with our friends and tried to make N's bday one of his bests.

He, however, had a different agenda for the night and decided he wanted to be mad at SOMEONE.

No surprise that I was the target.

He has since tried to contact me to apologize for his name calling and demeaning assault... in addition to some texts to "correct" his initial "everyone loved you" comments to "you flirted with everyone and made them uncomfortable"....

I have not responded.

Nor do I intend to.


I should have known that he'd find some way to make me feel like crap regardless of whether it was justified.

I am hurt that he has most likely told all our mutual friends and his new friends his believed (and elaborated) version of the story and now they all have a bad view of me....


I am realizing that I cant win with him.

Something is always gonna be wrong with me and I will never do anything right.

I refuse to be manipulated, belittled, or abused any longer.


I am going to miss my Ollydog :(