Im still here! My birthday was Friday and Ive had a crazy couple weeks- Ill post an update soon!

BUST.

Remember my nice little list of everyday goals that I set for myself???


Yeah.... Im doing really good on a lot of them.


Others.....

not. so. much.


So I need to confess.


Heres the original list with updates...

1. Do not spend unnecessarily
I was doing really well with this one....
until I had a few slip up's this past week..

• I did eat Ch.ik-fil.-A one day after work this week because I wanted to go to Barnes & Noble to read but was starving! BUST.
• I bought a Vanilla MILKSHAKE in my gap between work and babysitting one night. I went to the mall to kill an hour so I wouldnt have to drive all the way home... and I was craving a milkshake ALLLLL day and I totally fell into a trance when I walked by dairy queen... BUST!
• While at the mall, I knew I needed to get a new pair of khaki shorts for work (rotating the two pairs I have for 6 days straight isnt so great) and was SO stoked when I found a comfy pair on sale for $6!!! I also got a collared shirt for work for $8.. buttt THENNNN.... I maybe so a cute beach dress for $4.00 and talked myself into getting that, tooo! AHHHh! At least it was only 4 bucks! stilll.... its a BUSSSTTTT!!!
  
• I kinda maybe bought myself a hat at work (25%discounted!) because the one I wear all the time is NASSTTTYYYY ( okay... and i kinda maybe also got a pair of running shorts and a pair of goggles since the goggles I was using at school were Blake's....) TRIPLE BUST!

I'll stop there before you guys take a roadtrip to sentence my debit card into some type of holding cell this week :)

2. Do not contact N
I totally didn't think this one would be too hard. Yeah... easier said than done. I have totally felt strong conviction over this whole thing with N and I's mutual friend. I feel bad that N was so hurt by it and it didn't even turn out to be anything. Even though I apologized when we met, I felt like he didn't truly believe that I was sorry. Now, a month later, I see now why it was such a hard thing for him- even though we weren't dating and he has a gf. I met with him Sunday night to talk to him about it and apologize again. It was a bad idea because we ended up fighting and I left in tears. Way to go conviction! BUST.

3. Transfer $50 into savings with every deposit
I'm not going to lie... I've been totally rockin' this one! :) Last time I made a deposit- I was able to transfer a lot more than that over to my savings! Given, I do try to live like I have double digits in my account even though I don't but it seems to be working out well so far!

4. Do not turn down babysitting jobs unless already booked
CHECK! I have not turned down a single job since setting this goal (unless I had to). I have also been working between 33-34 hours at Omega each week as well. I dont get my first paycheck until midway through the month but I think my plan to live off of my babysitting money and save my paychecks will work out well.

5. Return missed phone calls THAT DAY
Total. Bust. I have always found it really hurtful when I have to call friends over and over before they will call me back. I still have to do this with a lot of people so I try really hard no to do it to others but MAN, IS IT HARD! By the time I babysit all morning and then working all afternoon/evening or vice versa, the last thing I want to do is sit on the phone for the next 4 hours trying to return phone calls! I really need to work on this one- it was a BUST.

6. Memory verses
This one is going pretty well. As you recall, I chose to stick with Psalm 37:4 for 2 weeks instead of one since its one that I struggle with. This past week, the Lord gave me Isaiah 55:8. I meant to choose a new one on Sunday but things got busy and well... now Im behind. I feel pathetic because the kids I nanny for memorize this huge long verses each month and I have these puny little ones- haha! Gotta start somewhere, right?! :)

Week 1 & 2:
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your Heart.
(Psalm 37:4)

Week 3:
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
(Isaiah 55:8)

7. Exercise most days
I am really starting to feel like I am making progress in this area. It's not hard for me to STAY in shape but it is SO hard for me to get back into shape. I'd like to pick some 5ks out for October/November so that I have something to work towards. Im getting caught at about 2.5 miles. I know I could probably do more but the course I run at the beach is about that long and when I get to where I started, its really hard to keep going! Im gonna try to start adding a minimum of a minute to my run each time if time permits.

(8/23) Monday: 31:00 minute run
(8/24) Tuesday: Rest
(8/25) Wednesday: 21:50 minute run
(8/26) Thursday: 22:54 minute run
(8/27) Friday: 15 minutes on road bike
(8/28) Saturday: 22:30 minute run
(8/29) Sunday: REST
(8/30) Monday: REST
(8/31) Tuesday: 22:00 minute run
(9/1) Wednesday: REST
(9/2) Thursday: 17:00 minute morning run + 20:30 evening run
(9/3) Friday REST
(9/4) Saturday: REST
(9/5) Sunday: 23:00 minute run
(9/6) Monday: 25:06 minute run
(9/7) Tuesday: 5 mile run (around 50 minutes)
(9/8) Wednesday: 30 minute run (3 miles)
(9/9) Thursday: 21:53 min run (2.45 miles)

8. exhibit love & patience to all you come in contact with.
Ummm... yeah... I don't like people very much I've realized... and a lot of the time, they are rude and disrespectful and I'm just not down with that. Work has helped me the most with this one because I'm pretty sure Id get fired if I didn't show love and patience to my clients. However, I'd like to be more conscious of my thoughts and judgments towards others without feeling obligated (ie bc I'm working) so this is definitely a work in progress. Oh, and I think road rage runs in my family :) so I need to make sure Klove is on my radio to keep me calm during bad traffic! :) BUST!

9. Have a daily quiet time with the Lord
I totally suck at this one. Ive been having a hard time journaling because of how busy I am and when I do feel like I have time, I have nothing to say. I created a private blog that only I can access in the hopes that it'd help me journal since I'd be typing instead of having to write it out. Yup. that blog remains totally post free. This is by far, the worst BUST of the past couple weeks. I dont know how to make myself WANT to journal. I do speak to God frequently during the day but it is a sentence here or a word there-- and like most, usually my prayers are selfish and about helping ME instead of helping OTHERS. Yup, I have no choice but admit that this was a BUST!

Any advice? What kind of goals do you set for yourself? What do you think I should change? What do you think is a good idea?!

J

Out of nowhere, I heard from N and I's mutual friend, J, on Friday night. (he's the one who freaked out when N found out we'd hung out- I told the story HERE)

It took him 4 weeks to contact me but I really tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by attempting to understand that he was put in a situation that he didn't expect and maybe just needed some time to process.

He asked me to hang out a couple times and I said no but then decided I should give him a chance.

Bad Idea.

He is just like every other Douchebag in this world. (pardon my french)

All I needed was to hang out with him one more time to realize that he has nothing to offer me.

Oh well.

-------------------------------------------------

Although it hurts to have to look back at the whole Blake situation and how it turned out, I am so grateful that I met someone who treated me the way I deserved to be treated. Never once did B make me feel like what I had to say wasn't important. Never did he try to pressure me into doing something that I didn't want to do. Never did he make me feel the way that N made me feel. I'd gone so long being treated the way N treated me that I didn't know there could be something better out there until Blake came along.

No guy will ever get away with the crap that N did to me.


I will not settle for less.


Not anymore.

Taking a step forward....

or so I thought.


This box contained everything I had kept from the duration of N and I's relationship that I still had in my possession (excluding gifts). I put a card in there for Olly's birthday along with his present and old toys that had been at my house for months since the last time I saw him. I felt like I needed to wipe my hands of those memories. (if you know me at all, you'll have realized that I am a very sentimental person and I keep a lot of things that serve as memories.) I'd been holding on to these things for far too long.

N did not ask for it.

Nor did I tell him he'd be receiving it.

I simply packed it up,

drove to his apartment,

made sure S's car wasnt there,

and dropped it at the door.

I did not ring the doorbell.

I did not send a text.

I did not call.

I just left it there.


... and I haven't heard a thing from him.

What is this?

desires

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

I have always struggled with this verse (thus the reason I have chosen to meditate on it these past 2 weeks).

Here's why.

What does delighting oneself really mean?

Delight (verb); de·light (di līt′)
to please greatly, to have great pleasure, take pleasure

It doesn't seem that easy to me. The Lord pleases me, yes. I am totally in awe of the things he has created for me. A sunset on a crappy day. A cool breeze during a run. A giggling child. A smile from a stranger. You get the idea.

Simply put. I delight in my Lord (or at least I think I do). I am well aware that each moment that I have here on this earth is God given... and that every breath I take is from Him... and that every wise word out of my mouth is breathed by him... but am I REALLY delighting in him the way that he wants? Is my delight enough?

When I am driving down the road with tears streaming down my face because the lyrics to a song on the radio just reminded me of the goodness of my God.

When I lift my face up towards the sky in thanksgiving for the opportunity to live.

When I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the things I have.

When I have to contain myself at church because all I want to do is dance for my Lord with my hands raised high and my lungs filled with song.

That is how I delight in my Lord.

I wish I could say that at every moment, I am delighting....

but

sometimes I forget.

sometimes I get crabby.

and selfish.

and annoyed.

and frustrated.

I don't delight in my Lord all the time.

I am not constantly thinking about it.

My life is not a continuous delighting party.

but does that mean I am not delighting enough?

Do I forget too much?

Is it that I just don't understand how?



If I AM delighted by my Lord then WHY do I not have the desires of my heart?



I want to be a mom.

I want to feel a baby moving in my belly and hold them in my arms.

I want to be a wife.

I want to meet the man that the Lord has chosen for me and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he is my one and only.

I don't want to always think about the one who got away.

I don't want to fear that I will have to be a single mom by the hand of a fertility specialist.

I desire these things beyond all else.




I already hear your responses.

Be patient. Everything happens on the Lords' time. If you are meant to be a wife, He will make it happen. If you are meant to be a mom, He will make it happen.

BUT

that is NOT what that verse says.

It says,

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He WILL give you the desires of your heart."

If that is true, then WHY do some men and women spend their whole lives looking for love and never find "the one"? Why do some couples spend $100,000's of dollars trying to have babies yet their arms remain empty. Why? Why do people who delight themselves in the Lord still go to bed at night without the desires of their heart?

I don't understand.

and I may never understand.

I struggle with this. A lot.

I am scared that my deepest desires will never come to pass and that it will be my fault. That I did something to cause the Lord to withhold the desires of my heart. That I did not delight myself in the Lord enough or that I was throwing out attempts but just couldn't hit the bulls-eye.


How do I change my heart so that I can move from this place I am in to a place of acceptance and understanding? How do I read this verse and feel relief that it will eventually come to pass? How do I read this verse and feel at peace with waiting?

How?

{someone else's} Giveaway!

2 posts in one days! I know- its totally crazy!!

BUT I wanted to let you know about an awesome giveaway over at Storing up Treasures! I have been a long time follower (although not a good commenter!) and really love the honesty of this blogger! She makes me laugh all the time and I get so much from her posts! I know you will enjoy following along and this giveaway is perfect since I am always talking about new books that everyone should read!

I have to say The Weight of Shadows by Alison Strobel might just have to be next! :)

The one that got away.

Over the past 4 months, I have realized something...

Blake will always be the one that got away.

I have tried to move on, hang out with other guys, do my own thing, and through it all, he is never far from my mind.

Every time I hang out with a guy, it feels.... just weird.... like a story whose ending has just been told all wrong.

There are times that I am hit, unexpectedly, by such vivid thoughts of him that it literally stops me from doing whatever I'm doing.

I spent last weekend back at school visiting friends before the new school year and the whole entire time, I felt this weight all over my body. I felt like he was close to me but I couldn't get to him. I felt like being in that place just stood as a constant reminder of what used to be.

I miss him.

I wish I could say I was over him and that I don't think about him every day.

But I do.

I pray that he doesn't go through with it.... that he doesn't marry C.... and that he shows up on my doorstep....

but I'm not an idiot.

I know that will never happen and I will not live my life pretending it will.

I know that most likely, he is planning a wedding right now... and that one day soon, he will have a ring on his finger.

I know that I will most likely go through the rest of my life without seeing him ever again.

I know that I will never hear his voice again and that I will never feel his arms around me again.

I know that.

It just doesn't make my heart ache any less.

It just seems like a cruel joke.

To meet the man of your dreams when you least expect it... to fall in love with him despite your wild attempts not to.... only to have him walk away in spite of his feelings for you.

It's just not right and I don't know how to make myself be okay with it.

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

Ollydog.
I cant believe that you are 3 years old, today. It seems like just yesterday, your dad and I were watching you run around with your brothers and sisters in a makeshift pen in the backyard of Susan's house. That first night after we brought you home, I felt like a proud mom as we snipped the nail polish from the fur on your neck that told us you were ours and bathed your tiny little body. I loved the smell of you and having you lay in between us on the couch while we watched a movie. I found out that night just how quickly you had my heart. Even though we'd decided not to let you sleep with us, that's exactly what I wanted to do when I heard you cry out in the middle of the night. Good thing your daddy was strong because you are such a good dog because of it. I never thought things would turn out this way, baby boy... I'm sorry that I don't come to see you anymore. I cant be selfish by coming to get you when I know it makes you upset when I bring you back. I love you too much to do that to you. God knows, I want nothing more than for you to be with me all the time, but it cant be that way. Know that I will always love your daddy more than he'll ever know but that I cant make it enough. If I could fix this for us, Ollydog, I would, but because I cant, know that I would do anything for you and I love you more than life itself. Happy 3rd Birthday baby boy!

Love you always,
Your Mommy

Discipline

Since moving home, I have really been trying to discipline myself by setting very specific goals, whether they are financial... personal... health related... etc.

Sometimes they are dumb things that I know I can do like... do not contact N (NO MATTER WHAT) and some are more important things like do not turn down babysitting jobs even if you are tired or put money away.

It has really helped to WRITE EACH GOAL DOWN so that I have a daily reminder of what I am expecting of myself each day. I make sure that all my goals are LOGICAL, REALISTIC, and will not add anxiety to my life.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
In addition to the little, everyday things, I've also tried to focus on the financial aspect of being a young adult. Putting money away is key for me right now and in order to do that, I have to discipline myself so that my spending does not exceed my income. Due to the fact that my income is not fixed, I have been doing a number of things to ensure that money is being put away each month:

• I have been eating at home more
• I do not purchase things for myself unless they are needed and will be used on a regular basis (ie planner, socks, etc) This means I do not buy clothes for myself unless I am in need of that specific item or it is WAY on sale (and the money is available)!
• I have been transferring a minimum of $50 into my savings each time I make a deposit at the bank which is usually every week or every other week
• I have also set up a "Wa.y2S.ave" account with Wa.ch.ovia. to "trick" myself into saving money. The idea of "W2S" is that each time you use your debit card, Wa.ch.ovia will trasnfer $1 from that account into a savings account. In addition to those automatic transfers, you can also transfer up to $100 each month into that account. There is a maximum because the account receives 5% APY (annual percentage yeild) for the first year. There are other benefits of this savings account but I will let you read about it HERE! I have really loved it so far because I track my account electronically and I can see what is leaving and what is coming in multiple times a day if I want.
• I also changed my regular savings account into a "hig.h. perform.ance mon.ey mark.et" which receives a higher interest rate than a normal savings account. The only catch is that you MUST keep a minimum of $2500 in the account at all times. I decided this is a good thing for me because it ensures that I will have AT LEAST $2500 put away at all times.
  

I went into the Omega here at home yesterday and will be starting next week after they have had a chance to transfer my information from the store up at school. I will be working days so that I can still babysit at night. They were SO accommodating with my babysitting schedule and are willing to work with me since my schedule changes weekly. I am excited to be in a smaller store and in a store that focuses more on running because I really enjoy the sport.

My plan is to use my babysitting income for my regular finances such as gas, bills, food, etc and to automatically deposit my Omega paycheck into my savings account. I may need to tweak this some or switch which paycheck goes where but I feel like this will be a good way to put money away.

I am so lucky to have parents who are allowing me to live with them RENT FREE now that I am back home. Although I am usually eating at the homes I nanny in, I still eat pretty often with my parents (who refuse to let me buy groceries) so that is a HUGE weight off my shoulders and basically gives me NO EXCUSE about being able to put money away.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

I have always been a runner- I do not love running distance because I grew up sprinting but through running cross country in highschool, I have come to appreciate the benefits of long distance running. When my knees got really bad again in college, I resorted to swimming instead of running for my workouts. However, now that I'm home, its not as easy to find a gym with a pool where I can swim laps. (No, it is not safe to swim like that alone in the ocean or waterway). I have always wanted to get into cycling but it is WAY expensive and I just cant afford a bike right now so I have been getting up at 730am every morning (no matter what I have going on that day) and running between 2-3 miles before starting the day.Obviously I will up the miles over time. Sometimes I have the opportunity to reward myself by sitting at the beach for a couple hours but sometimes that just doesn't fit into the day. I have also been trying to be more aware of what I am eating (yeah I know, I go back and forth about this) and focus on possibly running a half marathon sometime in the next 6 months (MAYBE). Ive always wanted to run a marathon before I die but I'm thinking baby steps will have to do for now (ie 5 k, 10k, half, full marathon, tri???) :)

We'll see how all this goes and I may not keep recording it on here but I will try. (Yes, I know, some days I included my meals and some days I didnt- thats for me more than you) haha.

Monday

Ran 30 minutes

Tuesday

Rest

Wednesday

Ran 21:50 minutes

Thursday

Breakfast:
1/2 banana, half bagel with peanut butter

Ran 22:54 minutes

Lunch:
Salad with ham, cheese, cucumbers, raisins, italian dressing

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I have been choosing a bible verse to memorize every week (or 2) and putting it on my bathroom (and bedroom) mirror. I used to know so many verses by heart and I've noticed that I can often recall (portions) of a verse but couldn't tell you where to find it. I don't like not being able to help others by giving them a source when I refer to bible verses soooo I feel like this is just a great addition to my discipline regime.

This week's verse is:

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

(I have a post I'd like to do on this verse but that will have to wait)

I am still working on trying to incorporate all of my goals into my day but here is a general list of what Im doing right now.

1. Do not spend unnecessarily
   
2. Do not contact N
   
3. Transfer $50 into savings with every deposit
4. Do not turn down babysitting jobs unless already booked
5. Return missed phone calls THAT DAY
6. Memory verses
7. Exercise most days
8. exhibit love & patience to all you come in contact with
   
9. Have a daily quiet time with the Lord

She Won't Be Lonely Long

My friends always says this should be my country theme song :)



She always specifies "country" because she swears "Ridin Solo" has to be my "rap" theme song! Haha!


Thank God for great friends! :)






Funny thing is....

I dont drink Patron

S-O-L-O!

I am not a rap fan but when I heard this song- I just had to laugh :)




Sounds like a good plan to me for now!

Whatever.

It's totally weird but lately, Ive been happy and unhappy all at the same time.

It feels so good to be making money and trying to put some away even though its not a salary career and... I am loving being an aunt and getting a chance to sit on the beach some and read and get back into running.

but

theres always something.

I feel like Ive been keeping things from you guys even though that is totally not the case! I just havent had time to get everyone up to speed!

So here it is!

I hung out with one of N and I's mutual guy friends (J) a couple of times and although I dont know him well beyond acquaintances, he's always seemed really cool. Within 24 hours, N had gotten wind of us hanging out and was stalker texting/calling me for the "truth." Apparently someone thought it'd be a good idea to tell N that J and I were sleeping together (which we were not). After 18 hours of ignoring N's texts and calls (because I just didnt feel like dealing with it), I finally decided that Id just call him back- meet with him- tell him the truth and let him know that he cant control my life anymore.

Heres the truth-
I like J. He's a nice guy. but I dont know him that well and I am not in a position to want to date ANYONE right now. J knew that. We only hung out twice anyways so it's not like it was serious. I would have liked to get to know him but that didnt happen because

N CONTROLS EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE WITHOUT ME EVEN KNOWING IT!!!!!

Heres the short story.

I hung out with J. N found out. J found out that N found out. N freaked out. J freaked out. I talked to N. J was already over the situation because of how badly N freaked out. J apologized for things working out this way but thought it might be best if we just kept our relationship as friends. N got what he wanted... Go figure.

Heres the thing that irks me. Even though I am getting to the point where I dont care how my actions affect N anymore, our mutual friends are still caught in the middle and they DO care.

No, I did not go out planning to "date" one of our mutual friends but I refuse to not hang out with certain people because it "might hurt N."

He obviously does not keep me in mind when he makes HIS decisions so why should I keep him in mind when I make mine?

J KNEW when he chose to hang out with me that I was his friends ex. That had not changed. But clearly the fact that N is mad made him rethink our "friendship." I mean... I get it... who wants their friend to hate them because they decided to hang out with their ex. I just dont get why he hung out with me in the first place if this is how he felt.

Im pretty sure J just never thought it'd be this big-a-deal. Me either. I mean, COME ON!.. N had been dating someone for OVER A YEAR but he still cant handle me being with someone else. N just wants to have his cake and eat it too and apparently, IM THE CAKE. UGHH!

Ultimately, N feels I've done something AWFUL by hanging out with his friend and that it's gonna take a long time for him to forgive me but that he respects me for being honest and talking to him about it. J wont talk to me because of how much drama N caused because we were hanging out and I refuse to try to discuss this with someone who clearly doesnt care. N swore he and S were done but then I HAPPENED to pull up to the same stoplight as them the other night so Im assuming he was just adding to the buttload of lies he's already fed me.

Sucky situation that Im just not even gonna deal with anymore.

N sucks.

S sucks

J sucks.

Sometimes life sucks.

but

whatever.

Update on J

Birthmom chose to parent her daughter.

So J went to Oklahoma to see her solider graduate.

Birthmom changed her mind once she got home.

Birthmom brought baby back to agency.

Agency thought J was out of town to see her husband graduate.

For this reason, they forfeited J & her husband's right to the adoption.

Birthmom had to choose another couple to parent her child.

The worst part?

J was in town. She had come back Sunday morning...



My heart is breaking for my friend.

Im in love...

...with my niece!

Ive had to babysit for the past 4 nights in a row and have to babysit again tonight!

I am grateful for the money but I want to go see baby girl tonight instead. My mom is making my sister and her husband dinner and my whole family is going.... well except me.... because Im stuck babysitting since I didnt know they were doing dinner tonight...

Heres the thing, I dont mind babysitting- actually... I love it!... but this family is not personable... they ALWAYS cancel on me.... and they never treat me with the respect I deserve.... I continue to babysit for them because I love their kids and it's not their fault that their parents suck! :( No, the money isnt good- (they always stiff me) - but every single time I go over there, the kids tell me how much they miss me and that they have so much fun while Im there!

Sooooo Im obviously going to do the right thing and uphold my word...

but miss out on seeing this precious little face tonight!!!

Sad times :(

J

I posted about my friend, J, here.

She is in the midst of one of the hardest things she will ever have to do.

She is waiting.

She is waiting to find out (in the next 24 hours) whether she will be a mother or whether a birth mom will choose to parent her daughter.

She is missing out.

She is missing out on her husbands graduation because she needed to be home for her potential daughters' birth.

She is praying.

She isnt praying for that baby girl to be placed in her arms. She is praying for the Lord's will to prevail- no matter what that is.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
J is one of the strongest women that I have ever met and even though our friendship exists only through our blogs and occasional emails, she is so important to me. She is a woman that radiates love on anyone and everyone she encounters... a woman who has endured more hardship in the past year than many have dealt with in their lifetimes... a woman who wants, more than anything, to be a mother. Even through all this, she still praises our Maker and trusts that his plan will be fullfilled.

I am in awe of J today.

She needs our prayers.

Wont you join me?

I'm an Aunt!

Finley Claire
born 8/9/10 @ 7:04 am
7 lbs 7 oz
19 inches long

Fabulous

I had to chuckle today... not only because it was funny... but because I just posted, "You know you're a nanny when..."

Here's a great "add on"

:)


While the kids and I were in Tar.get today picking up some things... a woman stopped me in passing and said,

"I just have to tell you that you look fabulous!"


I was really confused so I just said, "thanks" and continued shopping....

After she walked away.... Itried to figure out why a random lady would tell me that I look fabulous....

I laughed out loud as a realized what she meant...


You look fabulous to have had four kids!


haha! The life of a nanny!

AHHHHHHH!

OMGOSHHHH!!! My Bloggy friend, J, was officially MATCHED!

I am soooo excited for her! She is going to be such a great mommy!

Hop on over and read up on her story! She has disabled her comments for the time being but she would appreciate all the prayers she can get!!


LOVE YOU J!

You know you're a Nanny when....

...You've spent 50% of your lifetime watching other peoples' kids.

... You dont say a thing when a finger painting session turns into a body painting session because for once, it's quiet except for giggles.

... You drive a mini van more often than you drive your own car

... You let a 6 year old paint your toenails because 1) it makes her happy and 2) it means you dont have to do it yourself

...You fold laundry while checking email, returning phone calls, and feeding a baby.

...You have a stroller in your trunk and diapers in your purse at all times.

...You'll dance around like a fool just to see them smile.

...Kids call you mommy by accident... a lot.

...You have no idea how many diapers you've changed in your lifetime.

... You sing to them when they ask because, even though you arent very good, they still like it

... You have spit up AND snot on your shirt before 10am

...You dont sit down to eat because you want to jumpstart the "after lunch" cleaning process so you wont be in the kitchen all afternoon

...You've had a 6 year old walk in on you not once, but twice, while you are showering in the last week when she was supposed to be sleeping

...You forget to pee.

...You can make bottles while half asleep

...You go to bed at 10pm because you know that 6am comes faster than you think.

...The best part of your day is your 5 minute shower after 3 of the 4 kids go to bed.... (but only if you can tone out the sound of a 4 month old screaming to be held.)

... the sound of a baby crying doesn't even phase you

...You have to remember not to wear rings so people don't think they are all yours... and then you have to think twice, and realize you should put them back on so you dont look like a unwed redneck teenager with 4 kids...

...The smell of poop, urine, and vomit does not cause an immediate gag reflex.

...You go places so often with the same kids, that people start telling you, "YOUR kids are getting so big!"

...You miss the kids when you dont see them for 48 hours.

...You sway back and forth even when you dont have a baby in your arms.

...You love each and every crazy, chaotic, ridiculous, hair pulling minute you spend with them because at the end of the day, you still love them....

... even though they aren't even yours.