apps

What APPS do you think are worth downloading for Iphone 4?

I have downloaded....

1. Instagram
2. Pandora
3. Dragon Dictation
4.  Shazam
5. Yelp

What else is useful!?

If you havent noticed, I like free stuff so nothing that costs a fortune please :)

Lots of stuff going on around here!

A few bumps in the road with my agency-- nothing huge but enough to be time consuming, expensive, and annoying! :)  God is good, and these challenges will only help build the foundation needed to grow into something that is able to glorify God in big ways!

I have started running some again-- the other night, I set out to do a quick jog and ended up running almost 6 miles.  The weather was beautiful, the sun was setting on the Intercoastal waterway, and I just kept running.  It felt good!  I like this whole run when you want and for however long you want thing :)

Advice to all: Never buy a windows phone.  Yeah, the concept is cool and its all colorful and new to the world but trust me-- its not worth the headache.  You cant get any of the apps that the rest of the world uses regularly and you will most likely buy multiple replacement batteries and/or chargers.  I finally broke down out of pure frustration and bought a new Iphone 4 on ebay out of contract (Dont ask me how much I spent, Im embarrassed by that...) :)  I LOVE IT.  Now, usually I am not one to want to jump on the bandwagon when new things comes out but in this case, I learned my lesson the hard way.  I should have bought one years ago when they came out. Sooo, my advice to you? Jump on the band wagon people!  Well, at least when it comes to an Iphone! haha

I met a boy.  Now, before you go getting all excited, let me tell you that if you look at it logistically, this one will never work.  He is my best friend, MB's, best friend from high school who came down to visit a couple months ago.  We hit it off immediately and have been talking a lot ever since.  Problem?  He doesnt live anywhere near where I live.  To top it all off?  He just moved to New Jersey to start his residency next month.  Sigh, a great guy and we are separated by over 600 miles and 80 hour work weeks.  MB and I are flying up tonight to hang out until Monday and Im super excited about exploring New York and doing all the touristy stuff.  Seeing him is just icing on the cake- ha jk! :)  Let go and let God, right?!

Anyone who lives on the east coast... what is going on with this weather?  Its 85 degrees one day... 65 degrees the next... then 75 and raining the next.... Lemme get some consistency, people! :)  I have to say it has been nice to have a few cooler days in there so the kids and I can go out and play and not melt at 9am but Im ready to wake up and not have to check the weather before I get dressed!

I promise I am still following along with everyone, just not commenting or posting much!

24 days later...

woops :)


I suck at this!


My excuse is that I started my company and it is requiring every single second of my free time!

I'll be back soon!

Nothing like running the Cooper River Bridge with 45,000 of your closest friends :)

 

When....

...people tell you that you are going to feel pretty stinkin' bad the week or two after you run a marathon....



They mean it.

i did it!!!

:)

Marathon

Its official, Im such a slacker at blogging!

But my marathon is TOMORROW so I have an excuse! Lots of runs and sleeping and prepping takes time :) haha

:)

I'm freaking out! My running buddy tore a tendon in her ankle and CANT RUN IT WITH ME! OMGOSHHHH!

I have to run 26.2 miles ALL ALONE (well except for the other 3000 people who will be there running) :)


Prayers would be awesome! :0)

Thanks

Kony 2012

KONY 2012 from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

NoroVirus = bleh. :(

cancellations

I have been cancelled on three times in two weeks. Each one within 12 hours (or less) of the job start time.

If you dont remember, I am a nanny. Full time.  It is my job.

People dont seem to realize that if they cancel on me, AND choose to not pay me due to the fact that I did not watch their kids... I DONT GET PAID.... DUH.

This is my job people.

And if you have booked me for a certain time and day then you use me....

I get it, stuff comes up.... unfortunately people pass away, and kids get sick, etc, etc....

but if you "just dont feel like going to work today"....

YOU.

SHOULD.

STILL.

PAY.

YOUR.

NANNY.

(at least 50%)

Why?  Because YOU booked her. and YOU chose (for no good reason) to not go wherever it is you were supposed to go and SHE IS STILL RELYING ON THAT INCOME!


COME ON PEOPLE!


Moms out there! What do you think?  Do you think its fair to cancel on your nanny/babysitter 2-12 hours before and not pay them AT ALL?!


Just curious ;)

KC

KANSAS CITY BOUND IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS!

taxes

Taxes Suck

This Random Life

• 6 WEEKS until my Marathon! Oh My Goodness!  I'm so excited, and exhausted, and sore.... :)
  
• I just got this bad boy through the Employee Purchase Program at work! Gotta love a discount! (Garmin Forerunner 210W- retails for $249.99)

• Kids have been whack this week but they are so cute that you cant help but love them anyways :) 
  
• I am trying to check things off the list to creating my LLC-- Its just so overwhelming since I know NOTHING about starting a business!
  
• I finally got smart and realized that I should just laminate my little ones' "All About My Day" sheets instead of continuing to print them over and over wasting paper AND ink.  How did I not think to do this before? HA! Embarassing!
  
• What happened to Winter?  I feel like we totally skipped it this year!  Im stoked about that but worried at the same time.... I would rather have a semi-winter than to have a summer of 120 degrees in exchange! Keeping my fingers crossed that it wasnt a trade off!
  
• Does anyone know anything about all the jazz on Ya.z birthcontrol?  I have been on it for years and have never had a problem (yes, I questioned my OBGYN when the commercials about it causing death started coming on but she ensured me I was fine). But now I am hearing they are considering recalling it?  But then others are saying they arent! I just dont want to continue to subject my body to something if it's clearly causing problems with a lot of people.  ANY ADVICE?
  
• I have NO time. EVER.  I have had to neglect my love of Pinterest the past few weeks bc of the lack of time and I.DONT.LIKE.IT!  Come on Vacation!  Oh....wait! I dont get a vacation! HA!
  
  
  
  

Pet Peeves

1. When people don't use their blinkers
2. Overprotective moms who freak out over everything (thus freaking their kids out and creating needless anxiety in them)
3. When people don't use manners (especially children - come on parents, this is your job to teach them)
4. Cussing
5. Selfish people
6. Old people who drive 10 miles under the speed limit
7. When people drag the ending of a word (ie "So today I went to wooorrrrkkk and well there was this guuuuyyyyy....")
8. Stupid people
9. People who let their kids put stickers on the inside of the car windows.  I mean, Really? Why?
10. When parents allow their boys to act like crazy freakin hoodlims and justify it by saying, "Oh! Boys will be boys!"
11. When people teach their children the incorrect word for something because they think its cute. For example:  Cuppy = cup, Hot Doggy = hot dog.  Hello?! Do you want your 30 year old to call it a cuppy?! :)
12. When people use there/their/they're, etc the wrong way.  
13. Bad grammer
14. People who act entitled.

MANY MANY MORE :)



I think I seriously have a problem with how many pet peeves I have! These things like REALLY bug me!  Sometimes its hard to hold my tongue-- but I do!.... well most of the time :)

What bugs you?

my life is made up of bullets

Basically....


well at least to you guys anyways :)

Sorry!

• Im brainstorming yet again names for my nanny agency.  Everytime I pick one, I find one in town (or close to town) that is just too similar to move forward.  I think I am going to choose a few Im okay with and then ask you guys for your advice.  That is, if anyone still reads this thing and comments. HA!
• I finally got my Francesca's dress! LOVE IT!! Im ready for warm so I can rock it!!
• Today has been one of the hardest days with the kids thus far this year (haha 27 days in...).  I seriuosly almost cried. and I dont cry easily.
• I am co-leading my small group now which has been awesome and awful and so fulfilling and so dramatic all at the same time.  Do you realize how many girls in the same small group are linked to one stupid scumbag who breaks hearts? Yeah, you'd never believe it if I told you.
• N's birthday is coming up.  If you dont recall, our last big fall out was last year on his birthday.  I dont even wanna know what craziness he'll apply to me this year even though I wont be attending.
• I dont know if it is because its winter or what but I feel disgusting in terms of how I look.  I know Im training hard core for this marathon but Im really not doing anything for my abs and rest of my body other than Insanity 1-2x a week.  To all my friends/family/bosses Im sure I look the same but it's hard to know how you CAN look and then look in the mirror and see what you ACTUALLY look like.  Does anyone else ever feel like you dont look as good in the Winter?
• One of my nanny kids broke her foot Saturday (Not under my watch) so it will be very interesting navigating the next 6-12 weeks with a 5 year old in a cast.  Poor baby :(
• Tomorrow's Marathon training calls for 14 miles- OVER HALF WAY THERE! Wahoo!  I am stoked to feel like I can actually achieve this!
• I've come in contact with a lot of young married moms lately and it really stinks!  I wanted to be that 24 year old wife with a little one on my hip and a baby in my belly! I know my God has wonderful plans for me but man, I wish I could see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes.
• I am obsessed with Pinterest. It's official!
• I have been working like a mad woman the past week and it doesnt look like its gonna let up.  Now that Ive had a taste of down time- I dont think this whole working my life away thing is gonna fly with me anymore.

I promise Im still reading even if Im not commenting! 

YAYYYY

Just booked a flight to Kansas City to see my nanny family!


I CANT WAIT!

All I can give you is bullets

• Still havent heard from "friend." I am good with it.  I made the right decision for sure. Moving on.
• N showed up at church on Sunday. WHAT?! Yes, after 10 years of me asking him he showed up without being asked and gave me a freaking panic attack bc he was there alone and asked to sit beside me (this is following an immature new years eve where he hung out romantically with some random girl from his work and then made sure that I saw the pictures so I would get jealous.... yea...)
• All my littles are sick and its making it difficult to make money.  I cant expose one child to another sick child in another family so I am doing a lot of single family sitting which isnt good for the wallet.... especially after Christmas.
• I feel oddly out of place at work (Sports Store).  I feel old and out of touch with what all the younger staff talks about.  I feel replaced by the new people when it comes to friendships with the original crew. Sigh.  It just is hard to remind myself that this is a job and not a place to feel accepted.  Still sucks.
• My BIL is pissing me off big time.  He PMSes worse than any woman I have ever come in contact with. I dont understand why my independent, stand on her own two feet, genius sister would have married and jerk like him.  He is borderline verbally abusive towards my sister with the way he talks to her and what he says.  He  bites her head off over the littlest thing and called her a b**** under his breath when she pisses him off (always loud enough for her to hear...) UGH It is insane that he acts like this because he is living in my parents house for FREE while their house is being built and he cant even have the decency to respect their daughter in the meantime? I want to knock him out sometimes. And then knock my sister out for being such a idiot for putting up with it and exposing my niece to his crap. (He is a good dad. But that doesnt matter bc my niece is going to see these things as she grows up and then have an awful view of what a relationship should look like)
• I got cute new boots in the mail today :)  Is it just me but do fake leather boots smell funny?! :)
• I am STILL waiting on my cute dress from Francescas to come in the mail! When they say 5-10 days.... they actually mean 4390723974 days. Just saying.
• I started IN.S.AN.ITY. (P90X on steroids) on Monday and am super excited to get my toned body back!  I hate know what I am capable of looking like and then not looking like that.  It's a myth that is you are training for a marathon that you will be ripped because seriously.... you gotta work for that.
• My nanny family who moved recently to become missionaries in Kansas City, MI finally found a house yesterday! I cant wait for them to close on it and move in so I can book a flight and go visit! I miss my kids! I just hope the funds somehow pop up to make this trip possible!

The End.

30 Things to Stop doing to Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing

Randoms

• why do people insist on driving like bats out of hell? Im scared for my life on a regular basis driving around this town.
• My boss is milking my last week of full shifts for what its worth.  Five closing shifts in a row is not fun to me.  But oh that 13.5 hours/3 shifts that I am scheduled for next week is going to be SO GLORIOUS!  So excited to finally have some downtime in 2012!
• I realized today after watching a very defiant, hard-headed, whine-y 3 year old that I should tell my mom thank you at least once a day for allowing me to live to adulthood... :)
• I feel confident that standing up for myself in the friend situation (see last post) was the right thing to do.  I am just weeding out the friends who dont really care so that I can focus more on the friends who really do 
• My running partner comes back from vacay tomorrow and I am so stoked to not have to run solo anymore!
• My niece has got to be the most amazing, loving, adorable 16 month old on the planet :)
• I am so grateful for all my parents do for me. They seriously are awesome.
• I love seeing God's crystal clear answers to certain prayers. What an awesome God I serve!
• I have New Years Eve off--- like ENTIRELY off! Wahoo! I was supposed to have kids overnight and then the NFL game their parents are going to got moved so now I have them January 1st-2nd. YES!
• I love you bloggy friends.  Even when I feel like I cant talk to anyone- I know I can talk to you and get supportive responses- so thank you!

friend

I wont get into the nitty gritty of the situation but I know a few of you have asked what happened regarding my last post.

A bunch of my friends and I closed out a bar in Greensboro to have our annual Christmas party a few weeks ago.  I am one of the few who does not live there or live in a close surrounding town. Because I live 3.5 hours away I had not seen most of these friends since labor day weekend and was super excited to see everyone.

Before I tell you what happened, you'll need some background information.

Friend, who I will call AS, has a very hard time not being the center of attention.

Due to the fact that I had not seen anyone for MONTHS, everyone was really excited when I got into town.  I could tell that AS was not happy that they were more excited to see me than her.  (I dont really understand this considering that she sees these people all the time but whatever).

AS is also very insecure. In herself and in all of her 4392073497 "serious" relationships that she has had since Ive known her.  She has lived with three different guys in three years and met this last guy on a dating site (she denies this).

(Let me say that I have absolutely NOTHING against people meeting on dating sites-- I am a firm believer that God has his hand in everything and if that is how God brings you together then it is no different than if you had met on the street or through a mutual friend or in school) What I dont like is that she lies to everyone about how they met including me (who is supposed to be her best friend.)

ANYWAYS-


The jist of what happened? 


Party started at 7pm so by 930 all of us were having a great time dancing, drinking, eating,  and catching up.  At one point her boyfriend, who was dressed in tacky christmas attire, jumped in the middle of the circle and started dancing.  Everyone gathered around him rooting him on.  SOMEHOW in all of this, I was accused by AS of GRABBING HER BOYFREINDS BUTT.


Seriously, people?


1) Never would I grab a friend's boyfriend's butt- or any guys' butt for that matter- in a bar.
2) She has never dated attractive guys so why would I feel inclined to grab a "not hot" booty?
3) Even if I did grab his butt, are you seriously so insecure that, in the midst of everyone dancing and joking around, you would get THAT mad about it?


I know I wouldnt have gotten that mad had the tables been turned.


But maybe thats because I am secure in who I am and because of the fact that I refuse to be with someone who I dont feel secure in after suffering through my breakups with N and Blake.


AS FREAKED out during this circle dance session-- I noticed her get mad and walk away so I followed her to the bathroom where she began cussing at me and throwing her fists up in her drunken state to tell me she didnt want to talk to me.  At one point she attempting to hit me out of rage. 

I chose to walk away at that point to let her cool down.


She refused to speak to me the entire night. Wouldn't tell me why she was mad.  Would not discuss what was going on or talk through it with me.

I chose to have a good time regardless of how she was acting because I knew she was toasted and that things would probably be fine the next day.

Yea, wrong.

She left the party without saying bye... didnt call me in the morning... didnt respond to any of my texts apologizing for making her upset and explaining that I did not grab his butt.

I did not hear from the girl for TEN DAYS.

YES, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, T-E-N DAYS.

At which point I receive an email from her bashing me as a person and as a friend- an email that rehashed any and every major (and not major) thing I have every done in the past 5 years of our friendship.  Things that could have so simply been resolved had she just mentioned that it bothered her so that I could correct the sitation.

Nope,  She took sucker punches.  She addressed things that she knows I regret more than anything in life- telling me that I was an awful person for doing this and for doing that.  She said she couldn't believe I did certain things-- things that she very clearly supported at the time.

I read that email and concluded that I was in a lose lose situation.

If I respond, It would turn into a " well you did this..." and "well you did that" session.

If I didnt respond, she would psychotically think that I knew everything she had said was true and that I couldnt fight her on it.


So I chose not to respond until I cooled down, shed my tears, and got my head on straight.

During that time, I did not hear one thing from her.  However, I did get many texts from one of her friends (who is kind of mutually friends with me since we have spent some weekends at the beach together) berrating me for being such a terrible person and for not apologizing for what I did and how could I sleep at night being the person that I am.

Apparently we are in middle school.

This girl who texted me is 29 years old.  Yes, it's sad.


I did not respond to any of those messages.

I chose to email AS back and simply said,

"Seems you've made it very clear your opinion of me.  I am sorry you feel this way about our friendship.  I wish you the very best regardless.  -A"


I mean what else was I supposed to say?

I refuse to work this hard for a friendship.  This is not the first time she has blown up over something ridiculous.  We lived together for 3 years in college and it was always something with her. 

I am broken because I am losing her friendship but for the first time in a long time, I am going to stand up for myself and the respect I deserve and walk away from this one.  Someone who treats me this way is not a true friend and I need to be okay weeding those people out.

But I am still sad.

Today- I received more texts for the 29 year old girl.  It brought me to tears once again.  It's like I cant get away from this drama even when I try.

I am trying to be the mature one in this situation although it would be very easy to stoop to her level and respond to her email.  I could discount every single thing she bashed me for and then turn around and bash her x10 for the things she has done.

But I wont do that.

I have done my part.  I apologized and tried to contact her not only the night this happened but also multiple times after that.

Her email barely even addressed what happened at the Christmas party-- it was more about bringing up all the things Ive ever done wrong to prove why she was justified in her reaction.

I am not perfect-- I will never claim to be.

But I do try really hard to be a good friend. A good person. Who puts others first.


I am so exhausted.  I am tired of putting so much effort into people and friendships and then have things like this happen.

It makes me wonder what is wrong with me that these things seem to follow me.


ugh!